how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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