For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
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They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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