He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
