Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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