wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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