I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
