two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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