Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
