You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
