i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
