we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
