I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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