I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
