There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
