just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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