In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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