he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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