My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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