i think i have two assholes
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize