I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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