good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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