so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if only i could text you this smell
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..