if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about