He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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