No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.