so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
