Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence