very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
