I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
