When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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