uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
