I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
