He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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