Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
