this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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