Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
