I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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