Sry I called you an 8
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
two words...techno handjob
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
