Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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