i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
