So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize