hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
