singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
