The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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