i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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