she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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