either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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