420 ftw
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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