i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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