he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
