the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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