but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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