So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
