I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
