no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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