no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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