I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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