yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
