So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
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Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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