I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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