I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize