What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
