i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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