You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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