I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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