Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize