your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
